“I know how easy it is to think and keep
Thinking until you’re the last person left on earth
Until the entire world becomes no larger than
The space between your bed and the light switch
But, I hear the world is ending soon
When we go, and we’re all going to go
I will be part of it”
From This Is Not The End Of The World by Neil Hilborn
What do you need to let go of? Is something bothering you? Is it weighing on your mind and you feel trapped by it and unable to escape the feelings or thoughts? I’ve constantly heard people talking about letting go of what no longer serves you. I think that’s a pretty hard thing to do.
So let’s talk about letting go. I find this incredibly difficult. My mind obsesses over just about everything and I get so uptight over the littlest things until it’s all I can think about. I’ve had times at work recently where I can’t stop thinking about the fact that I am in a bad mood or am having a bad day and every little thing effects me, even a small comment from a coworker that I take the wrong way.
Kalyn Nicholson is someone that I have quoted multiple times on here and is a content creator who I admire immensely and is the inspiration for me making this blog. She made an instagram post back in July about letting go:
“Let go. Of the need to do everything perfectly, of your expectations on how life should be, of the idea that you need to feel happy or fulfilled.”
I think that we all need to learn how to do just that. We can only feel free once we let go. Expectations and the immediate need for happiness are a recipe for feeling unfulfilled and bad about yourself. We all need to let go of something.
Something that I need to let go of is the feeling of needing to control everything. The truth is that I can’t control everything that happens in my life, it’s simply not realistic. I can’t control my anxiety or my depression, I can’t control customers at work or my coworkers, I can’t control how I feel all the time, and I can’t control the people I come across in my life. Control has always been a huge issue for me. That’s part of the reason why I shaved my head a little over two years ago, and then again recently. It is a huge sense of control for me to cut my hair, that’s also the reason that I dye it different colors. Eventually, I have to let go of the fact that I can’t control these things. There will always be times in my life and aspects of my life that are out of my control, and that’s okay.
I don’t have to have a handle on everything, in fact, it’s part of life to not have a handle on everything. Isn’t that part of the freeness of the life we get to live? We have the option and ability to let go and live the life we want and have always dreamed of. Letting go of a need for control over everything has been incredibly difficult for me, and is something that my therapist has to constantly remind me is unattainable in everyday life.
Letting go can be therapeutic in so many ways. I get to go to the forest with my friends in one week and I can not wait to turn off my notifications and let go of the stress of my everyday life to be with nature and the people that make me laugh and feel free. Letting go is a process, and it doen’t happen overnight. It takes work, patience, and a dedication to yourself, but once you let go of that thing that is nagging at you, I bet you’ll feel so much better about yourself and your life. I know I will.
Until we meet again,
Stan (they/them/theirs)
Long Drives in the Dark 