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“Don’t try to make sense of your life…you can smirk at life’s poetic justice and will yourself a narrative by pen, you can fill journals with dreams and repeat songs you cast as anthems to your next era – so long as you leave it be…Let it unfold organically.”
-Kalyn Nicholson
Hello! I hope you’re doing well on this crisp, and in my case, snowy evening. Personally, I have had what I consider to be a pretty good week. While it lacked the amount of productivity that I planned, I did complete an online class, and that felt amazing.
This past week I picked up a book and started regularly reading again for the first time in a while. The book I chose is “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” and I am a little less than half-way through it. I would definitely recommend it so far. The author, Mark Manson, does an incredible job explaining how we think as humans and the patterns that we all seem to fall prey to.
I feel like there’s this internal block in my mind. I mean, I wish to write something more than a blog post, and yet, I can’t seem to get through this mental block of needing to finish school before I can be creative. I have dreams of writing a book and doing all of these creative things, but it feels so hard to bridge over this gap in my head.
I handed out some hand written letters to some of my close friends this past week which felt really good. While this year was tight with money, me having not worked for two months, it felt heart warming for me to drop letters off to my friends and past co-workers.
I am currently enjoying some time away with Hannah, and I am just sitting here and writing to you as snow slowly falls in a poetically magical forest. Speaking of poetry and Hannah, I received an incredibly sweet present consisting of a bunch of poetry books that I am beyond excited to delve into. The poets included in those books are Andrea Gibson, Neil Hilborn, and Sabrina Benaim, all of which are simply incredible wordsmiths. I even got the chance last night to do a complete read through of Andrea Gibson’s book, “Take Me With You” and I am in awe of their ability to talk about love, the world, and becoming. Simply incredible. If you happened to be interested in poetry even remotely, I would recommend checking out some of their work on YouTube.
I have also made a new playlist on my Spotify. This playlist is entitled “let’s run away together and live with the trees” and is a collection of softer indie songs that remind me of mountains, forests, a good old fashioned road trip, and being young and feeling like you are on top of the world. For in this moment, I feel as if I am standing on the tallest mountain, looking up at the stars in the dead of night, and wondering how such a beautiful place could exist.
I often dream of running away to live with those trees on that mountain and become a writer and a poet. Listening to the songs that I consider to be my own personal anthems. I think most of all, I dream of creating something bigger than I am. I am not seeking fame or fortune, merely to create something that outlives me in the best of ways. I read all of these stories that authors wrote when they were young, and I see how they have collectively changed my generation as a whole. That’s what I dream about. I think almost every writer and artist thinks this to some degree, for the art outliving the artist sounds like a pretty good answer to the question of meaning and purpose in this life. Maybe I’m just being naive, and one day I may find out that being remembered by your work isn’t all it seems to be, but for right now, I am dreaming. And that dream is beautiful.
Happy holidays from my home to yours; take care of yourself and stay safe out there.
Wishing you all good health and justice,
Stan
Long Drives in the Dark 