Be Proud

“Finale”

“Today is going to be a good day. And here’s why because today, today at least you’re you and that’s enough.”

from Dear Evan Hansen

Hello! I hope you’re doing well today, and that your week was healthy and productive. I think things went averagely okay this past week. It’s hard to tell, everything seems so blended together.

I had a few rough days where I was so overwhelmed. Included in those days was an anxiety attack in front of my new manager, intense anxiety over school, my physical therapy for my back, and a pinch of sadness to pull it all together. There are those bad days that make it feel so hard to keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep working towards your goals, and if this week has taught me anything, it’s that you gotta trudge through that and get where you wish to be. It’s a much better view at the top of this mountain we’re climbing that from the ground. Be proud of yourself when you get there.

Let’s talk about motivation, inspiration, and productivity for a minute. The way that my brain works, is that I can go three weeks without doing a single productive thing, and then in three days make up that three weeks worth of work. It’s so weird. It’s also kinda draining because the lack of motivation comes and goes as it pleases, giving no care to what I think about it. On the topic of inspiration, it feels really hard to be inspired right now. There is so much going on, and I feel so flooded by everything happening in the world and in my own life.

While I had a pretty rough week the past seven days, today in particular I am over the moon with happiness. I feel as though today I unloaded a huge part of my truth to many of my friends and it feels amazing. The support and love I have received even from people I haven’t talked to in four years is absolutely incredible. If you’re confused, not many of my high school friends knew the name that I prefer to go by (the one I use here and have grown to love.) Personally, it was a huge step in being comfortable with myself and I am just so incredibly excited for the coming days.

Here’s to a good week ahead of us.

Wishing you all good health and justice,

Stan